"My" NHL Team

Later today, the Chicago Blackhawks will mercifully pull the plug on yet another disappointing Vancouver Canucks' season.  There will be wailing, gnashing of teeth and rending of garments.  But not by me.  I am a Columbus Blue Jackets Philadelphia Flyers Boston Bruins fan.

Make that sound effect that they use on LOST when they show you a character's flashback:  The first time my heart was broken by the Canucks was back in 1994, when they lost in the seventh game of the finals to Messier and the Rangers.  So close, yet so far.

Heartbreak followed each and every year.  New star players are brought in, but there's always a big injury, some bad calls or just a better opponent that always seem to get the better of the Canucks.  This year will be no different.  Woulda. Coulda. Shoulda.  Whatever.  About a year and a half ago, the Canucks lost a meaningless mid-season game to Minnesota.  Minny had played the night before, losing to Edmonton, while the 'Nuks were cooling their heels at home.  It wasn't even close.  After the loss, I took my "lucky" Trevor Linden jersey down to the Sally Anne, scraped off my Orca Bay bumper sticker, and went looking for another team to support.

Here's the thing:  that day, I learned a valuable life lesson - you avoid all that heartbreak by cheering for a really crappy team.  Toronto Maple Leaf fans have known this secret for generations.  Every win is an unexpected surprise.  When teams like "my" Jackets, "my" Blue Jays, or "my" Toronto FC manage to briefly rise above the ranks of the mediocre, it's a thing of beauty.

I never understood fans like my buddy Leon, who's a NY Yankees (and Boston Bruins*) fan.  Where's the payoff?  If they win (again), there's no surprise involved - look at their payroll!  They're supposed to win.  It's like cheering for the Harlem Globetrotters or voting Liberal.

I say break free from the flock, be an individual, and root for the underdog.  Hang your Rick Nash jersey up in your cubicle at work, mention to your coworkers that you had a great time at the Nine Inch Nails concert.  Tell everyone that you can no longer attend the company BBQ, as you are now a devout follower of Jainism.  Your life will suddenly be filled with an unexpected peace and joy that you never had as a 'Nucklehead.

*At least, now, in 2013, I understand the Bruins thing!  GO BRUINS!